Quarrels. Even adults quarrel, how much more children in whose hearts foolishness is bound up (Prov 22:15). Therefore learn how to deal with childish squabbles. The first rule of thumb is: Do not intervene when your child quarrels with other children in the church. You ought to side with your child for a righteous cause the way that Joash sided with Gideon (Jdg 6:29-31), but avoid approaching the parents of the other children to talk about their children when there is a quarrel between their children and yours. Counsel your child to seek reconciliation, or forgiveness in the pattern of Matthew 18:15-17, remembering that however innocent your child may seem, he will likely paint an angelic picture of himself and a devilish picture of his adversary. For this reason, inter-parental involvement will almost always make things worse and may even result in shameful family feud in the covenant community! Counsel your children and then leave your children to resolve the problem and you will find that in many instances, they would be friends again in no time. But the second rule of thumb is that when your children quarrel among themselves, rather than spanking both parties (which may be required if they resorted to physical violence against one another), admonish them with the 6th Commandment, and then make both sit down together somewhere under your watchful supervision. Do not let them go until they have sought one another’s forgiveness and prayed together.
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Copyright © 2011 JJ Lim
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